Just Say No

Ever received a chain letter? I have, several times. I've copied them, transferred names, mailed the dishcloth, recipe and whatnot on numerous occasions. Once, something actually came out of all my work. I received a cute dishcloth back. Just one. Not several, which was the whole idea initially. So now I don't do chain letters anymore. Too much effort for far too little results. I choose to use my time more effectively these days.

But I always let the person who sent me the chain letter know I was opting out.

Usually at the bottom of such letters is a statement like: "if you are unable, unwilling or uninterested in participating in this please let me know, so we can remove your name from the list and the process will not be interrupted. Trust me, my feelings will not be hurt." I recall including this statement in a chain letter I sent several years ago to at least six friends. Only one of them ended up participating and replying. It made me curious: why did the others not reply? Did they feel they'd hurt my feelings in the long run? I don't understand sometimes why friends are hesitant to be open about their feelings with one another.

 A chain letter may be a trivial thing, but it made me wonder if we are not comfortable in being forthright with one another in the little, seemingly insignificant things like a chain letter, what about the larger, more important issues in life? Will we be timid there also? Like speaking up against a brutalizing bully? Like sharing our view on celibacy amidst our non-Christian single peers? Like taking a firm stand against social issues that God in His Word clearly opposes?  JUST SAY NO!!!

We can't sit silent, passive and afraid to offend if we want to be effective in God's kingdom.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?"  Psalm 56: 3-4

So many churches nowadays water down the gospel and avoid controversial subjects because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, possibly face empty pews or fewer checks in the offering plate. Hogwash! If that's the case, that's not the kind of church I would want to be a member of! Did Jesus avoid stirring waters? Did He not make people question things? Did He shy away from the Pharisees, kings, rulers of His day? No, Jesus was definitely not a passivist!

"For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear." 2 Timothy 4:3

Too many times we don't let our 'yes' be 'yes' or our 'no' be 'no' and we end up in avoidance traps by our tip toeing, tap dancing and hemming and hawing our way around things. That's how Christians become wishy-washy compromisers and nobody has a clue where we stand, including ourselves.

Ever heard the saying: "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." I believe it.

We need to know what we believe and have the courage and confidence to live it out. Maybe women are fearful of being bold because they confuse it with being aggressive. I grew up being very passive, so I know how hard it can be to speak up and voice an opinion, but I was a child then. Now I am an adult woman who belongs to Christ, so it's time to be bold and courageous about my faith and convictions.


"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." 1 Cor. 13:11

Let us boldly speak truth in love, just as we want truth spoken to us.

"Devote yourselves to prayer...praying...that God may open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of  Christ...making the most of the opportunity.  Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned , as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person."  
Colossians 4:2-6


"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope---the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." Titus 2:11-14

Read More

Are You Looking?

While driving in the mornings, I pray aloud in the car until I get to my first destination point. This gives me at least 15 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time.  I’ve tried praying in my head, but my mind wanders too much. I’d rather endure the quizzical looks from passersby who see my mouth moving than silently pray and end up formulating my grocery list because of my lack of focus. Last week, I went through my usual routine praying for each family member only this time I prayed that I would be an encouragement to someone that day.

My day was jam packed with appointments, important things like getting my nails done and going to the dentist—in that order! I don’t particularly enjoy going to the dentist office for the six month cleaning; in fact, I’ve convinced myself I’d much rather give birth.  The smell, the sound of drills whirring, the swishing of fluoride causes me to start whining like my dog when she realizes the vacuum cleaner is coming out of the closet!

When the hygienist called me back to the dreaded room, I had been reading a book, The Prodigal God by Tim Keller. Any place that has a waiting room is an opportunity for reading even if it’s only five minutes. Consequently, I always have a book with me. I shoved the book in my purse and followed her back. She was curious and asked about the book. As I explained the topic, she opened up and shared a book she was reading about family. I hoped to keep her talking to avoid the inevitable scraping and polishing, but it turns out that dental hygienists are good multi-taskers. They can talk to you about deep subjects while they are hurting you and expect an answer, even if it sounds like gobbledy-gook.

“I’ve been married for a year and a half, and it’s been a rough couple of months. How long have you been married?” she asked.

In between scrapes, I say, “Eleven years.”

“Oh, well do you have any advice for me?” she asks.

I’d laugh at the humorousness of this entire spectacle except for the seriousness of her question. Me, with my mouth open, eeking out one or two word responses up to this point. I’ve never understood why dentists insist on carrying on a conversation when they are working on the vessel you need to actually use in order to participate. Never has made sense to me. She lets me off the hook for a minute. “I know that’s a big question. I’ll let you think about it.”

Great. I’m laid back in a chair attempting to formulate an answer to a not so simple question with my mouth full of saliva and polish. She talks some more about other things. “You went on a vacation to Kauai this summer, right? How was it?”

“Goob,” is all that comes out of my open mouth.  I’m thinking that dentists should start scheduling before and after the appointment time if they actually want to talk to their patients. I bet they all have a good laugh at the end of the day when they retell stories of how ridiculous their patients sound when they attempt to converse.

Finally, I squeeze in an answer to her question. “My advice would be to pick your battles and don’t take yourself too seriously. I tend to make mountains out of mole hills and need to chill out sometimes. I’m not very flexible and need to realize that there are other ways to do things. Some things just shouldn’t be made a big deal.” (Gee, I ought to heed my own advice.) I add, “Oh, and another great book to read is Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. It transformed my view of marriage…how it’s not about my happiness but my holiness.”  It’s amazing how fast you can talk in between the cleaning process.

This young girl appeared appreciative of my on-the-spot advice and wrote down the book title. For once, that teeth cleaning seemed faster than ordering a coffee at a drive-thru Starbucks. As I grabbed my coat, purse and goody bag, it donned on me…this was my God-appointment today. He opened a door for me to encourage someone, and I actually stepped out of my comfort zone, took a chance and spoke with courage amid the barrier of swishing, swirling and sucking.

She was looking for encouragement, and I was looking for a God-ordained opportunity.  I am looking, are you?

Read More

Technicality: How to leave a comment.

If you have wanted to leave a comment on Mainstream but just could not figure out how, know that you are not alone!  Below are a few helpful hints that will hopefully give you the means to share your thoughts, comments, and questions thus allowing us as a blog community to connect, discuss, exchange ideas and encourage one another in our faith journey.

Step One: Click on the link "Spout" which is located at the bottom of each post.

Step Two: Type comment in the box titled "Post a Comment"

Step Three: Select "Comment as" for your identity.  I recommend using "Anonymous" if you are having any trouble leaving a comment and if you want, you are welcome to sign your name in the "Post a Comment" box.

Step Four: Click "Post Comment" and Vwa-Lah!

If you have trouble at this point, try clicking on "Preview", scroll down to the bottom of the page to view your comment and then click "Post Comment".

If this does not help and you are still having a problem leaving a comment, email me at rfigert@yahoo.com and I will be happy to help work through a commenting technicalilty with you! 

We would love to hear your thoughts and get feedback from all you precious women from around the world that visit MainStream!

Read More

The Prodigal's Mother

“My children, with whom I am again in labor 

until Christ is formed in you!” (Gal. 4:19). 

“Before the presence of the Lord; lift up your hands to Him

for the life of your little ones”

Lamentations 2:19b

In Jesus’ parable of “the Prodigal Son”, have you ever wondered where the mother was? Was she hidden in the house crying with her stomach in a knot?  Good news mothers of prodigals, God has a better plan!

As a naïve, young mother, I sincerely believed that, if our 3 children were loved, disciplined, saved by Jesus, and taught the Word of God, as teenagers they would be immune from succumbing to the temptations of sins that plague our world.  I was wrong.  As a family, we walked through heart-breaking valleys of destruction; consequences for choosing sin.

While ironing one morning in the bedroom of one of my prodigals, God sent words of hope and instruction via Ron Hutchcraft’s teaching “Taking back what the Enemy Stole” on his daily Christian radio program “A Word with You”.  Mr. Hutchcraft implored listeners to “pray for God’s strategy for fighting back to recover what the enemy has stolen. Declare war…and follow General Jesus into battle to take back what the enemy has stolen (i.e. my child!).”

Some days later while seeking the Lord, He instructed me to begin fasting one meal a day and praying more fervently for one of our children.  Each morning, I sought the Lord and, in His goodness and faithfulness, Jesus led me to Scripture to pray for that child for that day. 

O daughters of the King!  I charge you to be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might (Eph. 6:10)!  Let Jehovah Sabbaoth, our Lord of Hosts, train your hands for war (Ps. 144:1)!  Let us link together our Shields of Faith forming an impenetrable wall to quench the fiery darts of the enemy (Eph. 6:16) while… 

Laboring together in prayer until Christ be fully formed in our prodigals!

Obeying the orders of our Mighty God!

Believing Him who is able!

Persevering with confidence and hope in our God!

Embracing God’s ways, which are higher than ours ways!

 Expecting the well-being of our children to be great!

Glorifying Jesus who is worthy!

Years have passed and that prayer journal now contains well over 100 pages of Scripture prayers sown into the very souls of my children.  I am richly blessed to have witnessed our Savior Jesus Christ redeem lives from the pit and continue, even today, to set them back upon Himself, the Rock of our salvation!

(Related older post: “Wait for the Lord”)

Read More

Dirty Ovens

I confess. My oven is filthy. It's way overdue for a good scrub down.

Even self-cleaning ovens need a little elbow grease.

Maybe it's last on my priority list because it's a hidden mess. Unless you're Hansel or Gretel I don't expect you to peer inside my stove. (Otherwise, only a white-gloved busybody would do that and I know better than to invite them to my home.)

My 'To Do' list runs a mile long:

Read the second half of 'Life of Pi' for my upcoming book club.

Make dental appointments.

Schedule mammogram appointment. (Yippee.)

Finish homework for two Bible studies.

Prepare to lead next Monday night's Bible study.

Sell items on Ebay.

Buy items on Ebay.

Find out the sex of my baby guinea pigs.

Get their daddy fixed, so there will be no more surprises.

Finish writing my book.
Pull weeds.
Plant flowers.
Pull more weeds.

Pack away winter and unpack summer clothes.

Reupholster my wicker furniture.

Replace garbage disposal.

Organize walk-in closet.

Catch up on three years' worth of scrapbooking.
Upload photos to order books online from now on.

Paint deck.

CLEAN MY OVEN.

I have a dirty oven. What area are you hiding behind closed doors? Maybe it's your basement, closet, garage, fridge, attic, under your bed.

We all have messes we don't want exposed.

Last weekend we had guests. My sister-in-law, brother-in-law and their older daughter. It was great motivation to whip out the vacuum, broom and duster, since they've never visited before. I cleaned from top to bottom, east to west. All except one area. I figured: "they'll never look inside my stove."

We ordered pizza, but unbeknownst to me, my sister-in-law is now on a special gluten-free diet. Subsequently, she brought her own meal. Then those dreaded words were spoken:

"Can I use your oven to heat this up?"

~ GULP ~

"Um, sure, just apply this blindfold first."

We all laughed, I apologized, then she confessed her own dirty messes. Sigh.

No judgment.

No criticism.

No finger pointing.

After all, doesn't everyone have areas in their lives that could use a little Spring cleaning? Nobody's life is spotless.

On some level, don't we all have dirty ovens?

Everyone harbors invisible mites, dust bunnies and cobwebs in the recesses of their heart. (If you don't agree, let Jesus remove your blindfold.)

I told my sister-in-law I love being around her because she's always so encouraging, positive and non-judgmental. She replied, "Life is hard; we're all just trying to do the best we can."

GRACE

Gotta have it. Gotta give it. Gotta love it.

Isn't it refreshing to be around others who exude grace?

Do you wear white gloves pointing out the messes in other people's lives, yet conceal soiled fingernails? If so, it's time to remove them and extend grace-filled hands today.

Maybe the person you need to show the most grace to is yourself. Be your own best friend and allow yourself some slack.

Remember, Pobody's Nerfect.

We're all just trying to do the best we can.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3

“He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.” John 8:7

“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.” Psalm 145:8-9

Read More

For Heaven's Sake

"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:20-21

Somebody just informed me that 95% of Americans are in debt, living paycheck-to-paycheck. In fact, Americans are 660 billion in credit card debt.

I was shocked, but not surprised.

So many times I've bitten my tongue when friends tell me how they are struggling to pay bills, build a nest egg or payoff credit cards, yet in the next breath brag about flying First Class to some exotic location, planting $300 rose bushes or purchasing a $500 crib. (For that price I hope it comes with a guarantee to change the baby's diaper!) My mom just stuck me in a drawer when I was born and I never complained. (Well, maybe not an actual drawer, but you get my drift.)

I paid $20 for my son's crib.

I grew up in a 5,500 square foot home on the beach in coveted La Jolla, California. My room had an ocean view and the Pacific lulled me to sleep each night. We had a live-in maid in a separate apartment who folded my clothes, made my bed and occasionally babysat while both my parents worked full time. Yes, it was a beautiful home. But they both worked hard to purchase it and they could afford it. They were never in debt. Their bills were paid on time. I never saw them argue over money and I grew up feeling financially secure.

I don't own a mansion. I don't drive a Cadillac, travel First Class or drink Dom Pérignon. A few steps into my home and you'd certainly realize I don't have a maid.

But I'm happy and I still feel financially secure.

Yes, I would prefer a little more square footage. Sure I wouldn't mind an ocean view. And, yes, I would LOVE a live-in maid!

But I am content with or without these things.

We're debt-free, tithe regularly and are not living paycheck-to-paycheck. The peace I feel is priceless.

We own our stuff; our stuff does not own us.

If you are in debt, living paycheck-to-paycheck, I'm not trying to act superior!

I'm not saying I've never racked up credit card debt or don't know how it feels to live paycheck-to-paycheck. Yes, I have been irresponsible at times with money, but I never went on binge shopping sprees, bought name brands or got my nails done every few weeks if I didn't have the dough. (And, God forbid, I ever raided my son's piggy bank to pay the electric bill!) School loans, medical expenses, mortgages, etc., are all reasonable debts. I'm talking about irresponsibility and immaturity; spending money we don't have.

When I was single living in affluent San Diego, California, I used to have to move almost every six months when my single roommates announced their engagements. After I kept 'marrying off' my roommates one-by-one, I wised up. I finally decided to move in with a 70-year-old widow. Guess what? Within six months she was engaged! Yep. Time to move again. (I should have started my own business: "Move in with me, pay my rent and I guarantee you'll receive a marriage proposal within six months or your money back!")

Every new apartment lease required two months' rent. Sometimes my car broke down. Sometimes I lost my job. Sometimes I had emergency medical bills. Given these circumstances, I eventually had to borrow on my credit card, since I was living paycheck-to-paycheck. Subsequently, I ended up thousands in debt. Then I devised a plan to pay it all off. I canceled Cable, I made my lunches for work, I didn't take vacations, etc. I sacrificed. As a result, I was debt-free when I got engaged and had thousands in savings.

I recently learned that an old friend of mine got divorced. They were $15,000 in debt while engaged. They borrowed an additional $15,000 for their wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, complete with soaring doves, but they started their marriage on bad footing.

They limped to their Hawaiian honeymoon $30,000 in debt!

One of the number one causes of marital discord is arguments over money. I know they had many financial arguments, so I wasn't that shocked or surprised they divorced a few years after tying the knot. I just felt very sad.

I paid for my wedding myself and didn't owe a dime afterward. No, I may not have released doves, worn a silk gown or had Celine Dion serenade us. But it was beautiful nonetheless and I skipped to my honeymoon suite debt-free.

I've been skipping ever since.

Can you imagine living without air conditioning, running water, a TV, microwave, computer, washing machine, electricity, cell phone, indoor potty? My parents did. You may feel these are necessities, but they aren't. We live in a self-indulgent society where we act like spoiled children; we feel entitled to have more, more, more.

We must ask ourselves: When will enough be enough?

What on earth are we doing for heaven's sake?

God never promised us a rose garden. He promised to meet our needs and never leave us or forsake us.

Last Sunday's sermon was all about contentment. "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rick fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pieced themselves with many griefs." 1 Timothy 6:6-10.

I'm not saying it's evil to be wealthy, just like I'm not saying deprivation is more spiritual. It's all about perspective, attitude and balance. A millionaire can have a philanthropic heart and make monetary contributions that benefit many people and worthy causes. On the other hand, Mother Teresa lived a humble life serving the poorest of the poor. Both types of individuals can be used Spiritually toward advancing God's Kingdom.

It's all about our heart's attitude.

It's about discerning our wants from our needs. It's about being grateful for the simple things most of the world lives without: a roof overhead, clothes in the closet and food on our tables.

I read this recently: If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish somewhere ... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

Ask yourself: Am I more concerned with laying up treasures on earth or in heaven?

 

"In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." John 14:2


I bet God's mansions' will outshine the Ritz' anyday!

My pastor's sermon included: "If contentment is found just around the corner, you'll never reach it. We are restless, always looking to the next dream purchase, special event or exciting trip to make us feel good. The new smell vanishes quickly. The scratches, dents and worn spots come. The next version out makes us wish we had waited a bit longer because now our new purchase seems so archaic. Why can't we be content? We can! Only in Jesus will we find true contentment."

Compare yourself to Christ, not the Jones'. He's the only one who truly satisfies.

Let me conclude by saying: there is only ONE area in our lives we should NEVER be content:

Our walk with Jesus.

Amen?

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Phil. 4:12

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." Matthew 6:28-29

Read More

Being Stilled...Again

“…a slave of Christ Jesus, called…set apart for the gospel of God.”

Romans 1:1

My agenda of scheduled activities was once again brought to a stand still today due to another uninvited cold and fever.  After cancelling three Tuesday Bible studies, I asked, “Why, Lord, have I been stilled today?”

Lyrics from a song written by James Ingram, Reuben Morgan and Chris Tomlin on my currently favorite CD began to dance across the sound waves of my mind…

 

Where You go I’ll go

Where You stay, I’ll stay

When You move, I’ll move

I will follow

All Your ways are good

All Your ways are sure

I will trust in You alone

Higher than my sight, high above my life

I will trust You alone…

Who You love, I’ll love

How You serve, I’ll serve

If this life I lose, I will follow You

Light unto the world, Light unto my life

I will live for You alone

You're the One I seek, knowing I will find

All  I need in You alone

In You alone!

In You there’s life everlasting

In You there is freedom for my soul

In You there’s joy, unending joy

And I will follow

“Ah, yes, now I remember, Lord.  It’s not my agenda, is it!  It is Yours.  You are my Master, the Lord Jesus Christ, and I am Your obedient and willing servant.  When You say go, I’ll go.  When You say stay, I’ll stay.  I am following You…everyday!  Thank You, thank You, Jesus, for this day to hang out with You alone! What a joy!”

We cannot kindle when we will

The fire which in the heart resides,

The Spirit bloweth and is still,

In mystery our soul abides;

But tasks in hours of insight willed

Can be through hours of gloom fulfilled.

(Oswald Chambers)

Read More

Follow Through

I remember growing up playing sports.  The line and lesson "Follow through!" was repeated and rehashed to me by my dad and my coaches over and over. In soft ball it was important to 'follow through' when I would swing the bat or pitch the ball. In soccer, when I kicked the ball, I was reminded to 'follow through'; not to stop short with the momentum, speed, and force behind my efforts to kick that ball. Sports taught me that it is important to follow through; if you are committed to kicking that ball, then do it all the way and give your best to the end.




Maybe the reason that I heard the phrase "Follow through, Rebecca!" was because I was not following through, I was stopping short, and not giving it my best. Looking back over the general patterns in my life, it recently occurred to me that I have not accomplished many things I dreamed or set out to do, probably because I have not followed through. I started something and let it gradually fade into an unfinished, half-hearted task.


I think that there are lots of reasons why people tend to give up: burn out, grow weary, get bored, become discontent, lack stamina, change plans, be unmotivated, lose sight of goals, be lazy, etc. Some of those reasons may be acceptable, other reasons may be completely wrong, but we have ALL given up at some point or another!


This may be a 'duh' conclusion for most people, but for me it has been an 'ah-ha!' moment. I believe the reason I tend to start something and not finish it is because somewhere along the way my motives were selfish. Whether I set out to do a task from the beginning with selfish intentions or whether I became selfish as I exerted energy in attempting to accomplish a task, the thing I was doing was all about me instead of living for God to love others.


I am so weak and what starts out with seemingly honorable intentions can easily turn into something I want to use to glorify myself. Instead, I want to train myself to constantly ask "Who am I doing this for?"

Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also for the interests of others."

1 Corinthians 14:12 "So also you, since you are zealous of spiritual gifts, seek to abound for the edification of the church [not your own edification]."

Therefore, we are to use all that God has equipped us with to build others up! When we abandon our selfish goals and commit to love and serve others, we are motivated to follow through by doing our best to the end.

Read More

Walking By Faith

Putting our heart in the hands of an invisible God takes enormous faith. Especially when the world labels us fools for doing so.  

I was 39 before I married. Marriage is a serious commitment and with a history of divorce in my family I was willing to wait for God's timing, not mine. Perhaps there was a little fear on my part, too, that needed addressing first. Divorce terrified me, so if I never got married I naturally would never face divorce. One could say I was over protective of my heart. That happens sometimes when your father isn’t around to watch you grow up and sister-in-law portraits rotate on-and-off walls faster than blades in a blender. Seven times, in fact, by three males. Yes, I was jaded. The odds were against my getting married, or staying married, for that matter. 

But, somehow, as a Christian I held onto faith, and hope, that I would beat the odds. Articles I read would state: “…demographic research predicting that white, college-educated women who failed to marry in their 20s faced abysmal odds of ever tying the knot. According to the research, a woman who remained single at 30 had only a 20 percent chance of ever marrying. By 35, the probability dropped to 5 percent.

Even NEWSWEEK reported that a 40-year-old single woman was “more likely to be killed by a terrorist” than to ever marry.”

Daunting and depressing words, sure. 

If I believed them.

If I believed the media (or those who thought I’d never walk that matrimonial aisle) I could have easily sunk into depths of despair. I could have forgotten that I serve a majestic God who makes the implausible, possible. He lifts boulders from tombs. He slays Goliaths. He parts seas. He makes the lame walk. He gives blind men vision. He makes the deaf hear. He raises the dead. He walks on water.

He hears my lonely heart's prayers.

There is:

no problem too big….

no boulder too heavy.

no wave too large.

no giant too tall…

FOR OUR GOD!

A God who decided I would not be a spinster. A God who would bring a loving, caring, Christian man into my life against all odds. A man I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

Where would I have been as a single woman without hope or faith to dispel fear and doubt?

What fears or doubts are you facing today? What Goliaths need slaying? What boulders need removing? Are you believing God's Word today and trusting His promises? Walk by faith and not sight and see what miracles can happen in your life today! That's the kind of God we serve.

"Jesus looked at them intently and said, 'Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.' " Matthew 19:26

 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8)

Read More

Taming the Tongue

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

As women we are natural walkie talkies. We love to gab with our friends, share gossip and give advice. But as Christians, we are called to be different. Set apart. Holy.

When we are with family, friends and strangers do we weigh our words carefully before we speak?

Provebs 15:28 “The heart of us weighs its answers, but the mouth of  wicked gushes evil.”

The righteous weigh their answers, the wicked don’t wait to speak because they don’t care about the effects of their words. It is important to have something to say, but it is equally important to weigh it first. Do you carefully plan your words, or do you pour out your thoughts without concern for their impact?

Do we love to give unsolicited advice or wait to offer our opinion only when asked? Do our words breathe life into another's spirit or suck the wind out of their sails?Are we constantly negative and complaining, looking at the world through tinted shades or are we drawing out the positive in ourselves and others? I'm not talking about being a Pollyanna wearing rose-colored glasses. That's not reality. The world is full of good and bad. But do we genuinely have a spirit of love and grace towards others and use our words to express that instead of constant criticisms, judgmental jabs and condemning comments?

Proverbs 15:4 “A comforting tongue is a tree of life, but a twisted tongue is a crushing of the spirit.”

I admit, my words don’t always flow like honey from my lips. But my heart’s desire is to tame my tongue’s tail, so my words are life-giving and not life-draining. As a writer, but more importantly as a mother, I know how powerful words are. They can help a dreamer sprout wings to fly above the clouds or clip them so feathers never soar.

I shutter to think where I would be today without godly men and women in my life who made a difference through their encouraging words.

Do you want to be a cheerleader or a naysayer? Do you want to have a positive or negative effect on others? Do you strive to be the type of person that others feel better about themselves when they leave your presence or worse? Do you filter what you write or say and ask yourself 'will this benefit another in a positive way if I speak or pen it'? Or do you point out the weaknesses in others as an anodyne to keep from genuinely feeling or seeing your own pain?

Those who have not truly experienced the grace of God cannot extend grace to others.

We've all been taught: If we have nothing nice to say, then we should keep our lips sealed. So true. But how many of us actually heed this advice?

James 3:8 says, "but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

Only Christ can change our hearts, which in turn will affect the words we speak.

"The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

I want my words to be encouraging, uplifting, edifying, loving, kind, gentle in order to empower others to be their best self. This means not walking in my flesh, but living in the spirit. Walking by faith, not by sight.

Lord, let my words flow like…

helium to a deflated balloon…

oil to a rusty hinge…

a fountain to an empty well.

How can we use our words to be a beacon of hope and faith in someone else’s life today?

Someone who is single, widowed or divorced and is lonely for a partner…

Someone who longs to take a leap of faith, but lacks the courage to jump…

Someone whose vision is impaired; who needs to be reminded how to dream again…

Someone who feels hopeless and is just waiting to hear the words: “I believe in you!”

Take a look around and open your eyes to see who God may put in your path this week to share encouraging, uplifting, positive words with.

Who knows? Your words may be just what someone needs to change the course of their life forever!

Stand back and watch wings take flight!

PRAYER OF SAINT FRANCIS:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Read More

Sometimes Silence is a Good Thing

“When words are many, sin is not absent,

but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19

Excuse me if I step on some toes, mine included…but, can we just stop blabbing and gabbing to each other ABOUT each other? As women, we have a particular affinity for taking information and passing it along as carelessly as trash littered along the highway. I have my own experiences getting caught in the web of gossip, filled with shame and remorse at the horrifying things I’ve said whether guised as a prayer request or not. The past few years, I’ve been a leader of a women’s Bible study in which we advocate encouraging and building each other up, speaking strongly against careless words said about anyone.

Recently, I discovered that someone spread vicious words to another about a young friend. I was sickened, disappointed, heartbroken. My friend, hurt and distraught, is fragile, as we all are. Lies and rumors swirl around her through media sources and the old-fashioned telephone game, and she is wounded like she’s just been through a sword fight. She thought Christian women were different. Well, we are supposed to be…aren’t we? Everything I read in the Bible tells me that I am held to a higher standard. Who can I trust if I can’t trust a fellow believer?

If I have no problem slaying and fileting my own, what does that say to the community of unbelievers? What does God think about me marring and mutilating His daughter, His creation?  Is there no safe place for me to share my feelings? Should I constantly worry about whether what I say is going to be spewed to another in a different venue?

Is there no hope for us in this toxic area? Even James says, “But no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3:8) Goodness knows, I’ve bitten my tongue dozens of times, yet I’ve also let loose venom and hurt others more often than I care to confess. Haven’t we all felt that nudge not to share some interesting nougat we’ve just discovered? Haven’t we all ignored it? In the situation with my friend, the person who chose to sink ships with her lips didn’t heed the little voice. She jumped right in the muck and mire with both feet as I’ve done plenty of times.

How can we stop this poison? We certainly can’t do it on our own, without God, so let’s start with Him! John 15:5 says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” If we are not stuck to Jesus, fixed to the Rock, we can’t do this.  We can’t do anything, including zipping our lips, without Him. Remaining in Him means being in His word. It’s extremely difficult to reflect His image if we don’t spend time knowing who He is and what we should be putting into practice. 

In addition, we need to pay attention to the gut feelings that say, “Don’t share that nice, juicy tidbit.” Proverbs 13:3 says, “(She) who guards (her) lips guards (her) life, but (she) who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” My mother, a church office assistant for many years, set the bar high in this area. She had plenty of opportunity to share the inside scoop, but she never did. She said that if information ever escaped, she never desired it to be from her. If you keep your mouth closed, your heart won’t condemn you and neither can others.

We also must be aware that our witness is being reflected to unbelievers as well as fellow believers. People are always watching us—our conversation, our attitude and our behavior.  Sadly, we don’t always look all that different from those who don’t know Christ.  We should be asking ourselves if others are attracted to Jesus by what they see in us. If the answer is no, our mouths need a transformation.

Have you ever shared your heart with another person only to hear that she had spread it far and wide? Not only are we hurt, embarrassed, angry, but we also realized that the woman we had confided in was untrustworthy. We learn to distance ourselves from someone like that. Do we want to be women whom others can trust? If we constantly break confidences, other women will not feel comfortable revealing their struggles to us. Once again, Proverbs speaks to this. “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy (woman) keeps a secret.” (11:13)

The bottom line is we need to use our words to encourage one another not pass judgment, criticize or tear down. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29) Let’s be conscious of the words we speak.

If what we have to share is not beneficial, we must choose to keep our lips sealed.

Read More

Doggone It

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23.

So thankful His mercies are new every morning because yesterday desperately needs a ‘do over.’

I was not a happy camper.

I am dog-sitting for 10 days. It was my first day with Bryce and I’m his favorite. He follows me everywhere. Mind you, I am not a dog person. (I’m only returning a favor for a friend who recently watched our guinea pigs while we were on vacation.) I grew up with cats. Gentle, purring, low-maintenance felines. This Lhasa Apso kept me up all night with his growling and barking.

If I cleared my throat, it barked.

If the refrigerator rumbled, Bryce did too.

If the guinea pigs rattled their cage, he’d rattle my nerves.

I realize he’s just adjusting to unfamiliar sounds, but come on. I need my rest. Even more so since I’m still recovering from Strep Throat and Scarlet Fever. The last thing I need is a two-foot fur ball lying on me all night, barking and growling at the slightest breeze and interrupting my zzzz’s.

With only four hours sleep, I barked and growled non-stop yesterday. I’m thankful I have a forgiving husband and son.

No doubt I deserved the doggone dog house.

But today I can start anew. So can Bryce. After all, he slept well last night. So did I; I was in another room. He’s barking less; so am I. His appetite is back and he’s fetching his ball.

Some things are a constant: I’m still his favorite and he’s mostly underfoot.

Except now. He’s scratching the front door. My clue to walk him. Time to spray the neighborhood with his territorial scent.

Dogs sure are peculiar pets.

Read More

Candy Land vs. Promised Land

He throws up his hands in defeat and mumbles, “I quit.” (He’s prone to give up before crossing the finish line.) My kindergartner hates losing, especially when candy’s involved. After all, it’s Candy Land. Gum drops await the champion.

I encourage him—as any good Mommy would—that the game’s not over yet. There’s still a chance he could win. The odds are not in his favor, mind you. I’m just one hop away from the rainbow ending and gum drop bounty; he’s 35 paces behind. And it’s my turn. The odds of my drawing an undesirable card are about 10%. I encourage him nonetheless. Then I draw...

an undesirable card.

The peanut.

Which pumults me 64 spaces backwards.

Ten spaces behind his spot. He perks up. Hope is restored. A few cards later and he’s popping gum drops into his mouth. We both smile.

Maybe my son learned a lesson today about perseverance.

Who knew, even in Candy Land there are lessons to be learned.

My prayer for my son is that he won’t become a quitter. That he’ll keep his eye on the prize and never give up in defeat. Life is difficult and running the good race Christ has set before us is filled with many obstacles. May he have Goliath faith like David and slew every giant; like Peter to skip over every wave; like Noah adding planks beneath a dry sky; like Moses trusting God will part tumultuous seas and bring dry land. I pray he will fight the good fight, persevere and cross the finish line that leads to the eternal Promised Land and a bounty of heavenly treasures beyond his wildest dreams.

Where gum drops will pale in comparison.
"Eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has ready for those who love Him..." 1 Corinthians 2:9-10

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 2 Timothy 4:7

Read More