I used to feel this way.
All because I let others define me. When they weighed my worth, the scale was always in their favor and I was viewed as a deficit. I never measured up. Trying to earn their love was like trying to lasso the moon. Futile, but I didn't know; I was just a child. So I kept slinging that rope---trying different tactics, different strategies, different angles---but, of course, nothing worked and never would. It was impossible, but I didn't know. I figured it was my fault when I was flogged after every failed attempt, so I kept trying harder and harder and harder to lasso that forever evasive moon. I needed to prove my love so I wouldn't be rejected by the love I thought I needed most. But I always failed. It was hopeless.
Thus I grew up feeling like a tumbledown barn---splintered on every side---about to implode, crumble and bury myself beneath moonbeams.
despaired. defeated. dispensable. discarded. dismissed. devalued. depressed. disowned. disheartened. dejected.
SLICE. DICE. SPLICE.
At some point we've all experienced the painful sword of rejection stabbing us with its brutal blade. (Some of us more than others.) Whether it's in the form of a pink slip, a returned ring, a failed grade, a deformity scoffed, a parent's neglect, a teacher's jab, a skipped promotion, an absent father, a sister's slander, a brother's betrayal, a vow broken, a cold shoulder, a belt's bruise, a schoolmate's snub, an abandoned bassinet, a barren womb...
Maybe an alcoholic, workaholic or rageaholic raised you... Or perhaps your sister was the talented, pretty and scholarly one... Maybe your bank account, square footage or Friend's List didn't tally up...
Rejection, in whatever form, chops a heart like ax to log.
Satan's deepest wound is rejection's arrow piercing our heart. Because he was ostracized from Heaven and knows his reign on earth is short term, his goal is to project his rejection onto mankind as fervently as he can, while he can. Especially women. Why? Because we by nature are nurturing. If he can wound life bearers, causing them to reject their offspring, then generations upon generations will be limping on crutches forever scarred. Meanwhile, Satan will hammock swing, sip his Red Devil and revel in all the chaos he created.
Satan thrives on chaos.
I love the show Extreme Makeover Home Edition where designers perform jaw-dropping makeovers on someone's outdated home. As an artist myself, I love taking something old and transforming it into something new. It's more valuable to me than any tagged item for sale at Macy's. Mainly because I can patiently and lovingly restore it or possibly increase its original value. For example...
Does this wicker furniture look beautiful to you? Does it appear valuable? Is it still useful? Or should it be overlooked, forsaken and tossed in a junkyard?
What about now?
Before I purchased this shabby-looking furniture, I noticed the label and discovered this is a Henry Lane, quality, built-to-last brand of wicker furniture. After realizing its value outweighed the asking price---and envisioning its beautiful transformation after a few coats of paint, new upholstery and a little TLC---I snatched it up without hesitation.
Do you realize your own value, worth and beauty? Do you look in the mirror and see shabby, dirty and discarded or Priceless, Perfect and Precious?
Do you see beautiful?
What label are you wearing?
Is it time for a wardrobe change? Is it time to adjust the aperture on your heart's lens? Is it time to rebuild the barn?
If you don't know how let the Master Carpenter show you.
Notice I started this post with 'I USED to feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy.' REJECTED. But now? Now I feel Priceless, Perfect and Precious because God says I am.
The opposite of rejection is acceptance. How do we move from feelings of rejection to the joy of acceptance? We accept God's overwhelming love for us.
Satan can try to force feed me his poisonous lies---pointing out all my failures, flaws and faux pas---but I refuse to swallow. I only focus and feast on the truth now. The truth that tells me: You knit me together... I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I am a precious jewel (Malachi 3:17). Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, [she] is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I absolutely, without a doubt, am a new creation because of Him!
Let's shed, scorn and scorch old junkyard duds and worn out labels of 'unwanted, unloved and unworthy' and clothe ourselves, instead, in our Designer's truth. We are Priceless, Perfect and Precious. God says we are because of Jesus and our faith in Him. We may not always feel it, but that's OK. Our feelings may change, but the facts don't and never will. The truth is the truth.
Never again will you be called 'The Forsaken City' or 'The Desolate Land.' Your new name will be 'The City of God's Delight' and 'The Bride of God,' for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as His bride (Isaiah 62:4)
Thank you, Lord, for your truth, which counteracts lies and restores broken hearts to wholeness.
Thank you for your transformation.
Thank you for your restoration.
Thank you for your beautification.
I'm sure the rejection I endured growing up made me the compassionate, sympathetic and loving person I am today.
If for that fact alone, I am grateful.
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up and adopt me as His child (Psalm 27:10).
Keep me as the apple of Your eye, hide me in the shadow or Your wings (Psalm 17:8).