|July 19, 2003|
I am learning firsthand what love is.
And what it isn't.
It's not someone's backhand or backhanded compliment. It's not bruises and welts from a leather belt. It's not criticism disguised as concern. It's not dismissing, demeaning, degrading and discounting someone else's feelings and thoughts. It's not cowering to someone's raised hand. It's not being treated like a need-gratifying object, instead of an autonomous individual deserving of respect. It's not being a docile doormat or mud rug for other's to wipe their dirty feet upon. It's not being a stepping stool others use to feel taller.
Yes, I had to learn this. It was not taught to me.
Love's roadmap isn't filled with guilt trips. It's love offerings have no strings attached. It's tongue does not shoot poisonous darts. It's heart is not demanding, deceitful or devious. It's not self-centered. It's not easily angered. It's not conditional. It is freely given, not something to be earned, stolen or bought. It's not one-sided. It's being the first to say, 'I'm sorry, please forgive me.' It's not controlling, but self controlled.
It's someone standing in your corner cheering you on. It's someone who fills your life with joy, laughter and peace. It's someone who helps you become the best you you can be and wants nothing but the best for you. It's someone you can trust to cherish your heart in their hands and not bruise or break it. It's someone who wipes your tears and doesn't condemn or chastise you for shedding them. It's someone who points out your successes, not highlight your frailties, faults and failures. Love is not jealous. Love is not mean-spirited. Love is not unkind. It's someone who encourages, comforts and creates a soft place to land when life's storms hit hard. It's someone who holds your hand and never leaves your side when you need them most. It's someone who lights your path when darkness envelopes and swallows your heart. It's someone who honors their marriage covenant. It's someone who's faithful in word and deed. It's someone who describes you using positive words like: 'beautiful,' 'intelligent,' 'sweet' and 'loving.' It's someone who allows you freedom to be yourself, not try to force you to be an appendage.
It's someone who sees the REAL you.
Love is 1 Corinthians 13:
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Anybody can say 'I love you,' but without actions to back it up, their words are empty, shallow and meaningless.
How are you being an example of love to others in your life? Do you show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in your interactions with them?
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23
My husband is one of the best examples of love I know.
Thank you, Bob, for being an example of TRUE love to me.